Step out of your comfort zone

"ALL men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible"

— T E Lawrence

IF you were to describe your journey through life so far, would you say you’ve been on a gentle canal-boat cruise, enjoying sunny days and lazy lunches at country pubs or a solo crossing of the Atlantic — in a kayak?

How smooth or bumpy your ride has been is something only you can decide. There’s only one you and no one else has been on your unique journey. But you most probably feel you’ve experienced a bit of both along the way — periods of calm where you felt in control of everything, mixed with periods of turbulence where you felt everything was in control of you.

Feeling in control can be described as being in your comfort zone, where everything in your world is familiar and reassuringly predictable. It’s the place you know best and where you long to be when life makes you feel like you’re out on the Atlantic in your kayak.

Having a comfort zone can be a positive thing in your life if you learn to use it as a place where you can pause and catch your breath; where you can take stock of your achievements so far and consider your options for the next leg of your journey. But choosing to use it as a place to stop rather than pause can have a negative effect. If your comfort zone becomes a place to hide rather than to reflect, you effectively shut yourself off from all opportunities to discover your true potential.

So if you dream of achieving more in life, if you’re in pursuit of greater success, you must be prepared to step out of your current comfort zone and make some changes. "Continuity gives us roots; change gives us branches, letting us stretch and grow and reach new heights." — Pauline R Kezer.

Many people fear change. It makes them feel vulnerable. In most cases, it’s the fear of the unknown that prevents them from welcoming change. But quite often the real fear is not of change but of failure.

Think of the spiral of success as a spiral staircase. Your comfort zone is at the bottom of the stairs: the stairs that lead to where you want to be in life.

For those who fear change, facing the climb up those stairs feels like facing an experimental jet-pack flight wearing equipment supplied by Bodge-It and Scarper Inc.

But "all great journeys begin with one small step" so all it takes to begin your upward journey is the confidence to take that first step.

You don’t need to leap up the spiral of success in one jump. You take it one small, manageable step at a time. However, a lack of confidence will often lead to "what if?" questions filling your mind.

What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail? The power of the mind should never be underestimated, and such negative thoughts can be enough to keep you firmly at the bottom of the stairs.

So where does the confidence to take the first step come from? The answer is yourself. The first step is to change your thought process. Think positive. Believe in yourself and try asking — "What if I succeed?"

"Once you start replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results." — Willie Nelson.

Preparation is key. Decide where it is you want to go, then plan your journey. Prepare a plan for each individual step. Think of each step as a stepping-stone towards your final destination.

Look at where you are now then focus on where you want to be. Break the journey between the two points into small steps.

Look at the skills you already have then consider the additional skills you need to help you achieve your goal.

The next step is to build your confidence by adding to what you already have.

Success depends on having confidence in yourself and in your abilities. The building blocks of self-confidence are:

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Knowledge

Knowledge is power. Fear that is based on the unknown can be eliminated through learning and with knowledge and preparation, confidence can be built.

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Skill

Identifying your own unique skills can be very empowering. Knowing your strengths gives you the confidence to tackle life’s challenges.

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Experience

With experience comes knowledge. ‘Learn from your mistakes’ is a common saying but just as much can be learned from successes. Accomplishing goals builds confidence.

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Attitude

Your attitude is essential to your success. Believing that change is always possible allows you to remain optimistic through turbulent times.

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Self-belief

Your knowledge, skill, experience, and attitude create the foundation for self-confidence and belief in yourself.

Most of us, no matter how confident, experience moments of self-doubt in our journey through life. Each time you step out of your comfort zone doubt can creep into your thoughts: "Am I ready for this? Can I do this?"

Doubt stems from a lack of self-belief and could lead to a hasty retreat back into the comfort zone.

Rather than stepping backwards, take a side-step. Take a moment to reflect on your achievements so far. Focus on your strengths while improving your weaknesses and give yourself credit where credit is due.

Those voices in your head are simply a sign that you’re preparing to take the next step, you’re getting ready to step out of your comfort zone.

Nagging doubts are often accompanied by a feeling of butterflies in your stomach, another sign that you’re getting ready to go. Silence the voices by telling yourself that you are ready. You’ve worked hard and earned your right to make your way up the spiral of success; you deserve to be there.

"You can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can’t have it." – Dr Robert Anthony.

Those moments of doubt in life can be described in highly technical terms as "oh sh**!" moments. They are moments that take you by surprise; moments you feel unprepared for; moments that shake your self-confidence by taking you a long way from your comfort zone.

For example, I had been teaching classes on sports psychology with professional football coaches for a number of years when I was asked by the Scottish Football Association to deliver a talk.

I arrived at Murray Park, the training ground of the famous Glasgow Rangers football club, and began reviewing my materials for the lecture.

The subject matter was something I’d given talks on many times before and I confidently prepared to begin with my back to the class as they filed in behind me with much rustling of papers and scooting of chairs.

When all was quiet I turned to address the class and a familiar face caught my eye: Colin Hendry, former Scotland captain.

This for me was an "oh sh**!" moment. The question in my mind was, what could I possibly say that would be of interest to such a football legend?

I was well and truly out of my comfort zone but I took a momentary side-step, followed by a couple of deep breaths, and seized the opportunity to share my knowledge with someone I admired.

This is your journey and you are the only you: you are the best you and you’re only going to get better from here.

Success is not an instant accomplishment, it’s a continuing journey, but it’s still your journey to take. Remember to enjoy the view on the way up.

"The state of your life is nothing more than a reflection of your state of mind." – Dr Wayne W Dyer.

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