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Doric poets honoured at Keith TMSA festival

By Alistair Whitfield

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Keith Primary's Noah Crocket won the Ian Middleton Trophy for a poem about his big brother.
Keith Primary's Noah Crocket won the Ian Middleton Trophy for a poem about his big brother.

The winners of this year's Keith TMSA competitions for Doric verse received their trophies at the weekend.

Keith Primary pupil Noah Crocket won the junior contest with a poem about his big brother.

The talented Caroline Fowler from Buckie achieved both first and second place in the senior contest.

While Newmill's Gillian and Barron Stevenson won the inter-generational prize for a poem they wrote together.

All three divisions attracted a good selection of entries from right around the North East, making the job of judging as difficult as ever.

This year that role was carried out by Dr Kay Gauld, the former minster in Keith who now works in Insch.

She said: "Onybody faa reads these wid be fir trickit an hae a smile of their 'fizzogs' for the rest o the day.

"Weel dane aabody. Ye deserve a skelp on the back."

The three trophies were presented on Sunday night at the Royal Hotel during the final concert of the Keith TMSA festival.

Gillian and Barron Stevenson from Newmill composed the winning entry to claim the inter-generational Charles Murray trophy.
Gillian and Barron Stevenson from Newmill composed the winning entry to claim the inter-generational Charles Murray trophy.

Ian Middleton poetry competition (for aged 12 and under)

1st Noah Crocket: 'My Breether Riley'

2nd Noah Reid: 'My Dugs'

3rd Rowan-May Blake: 'My Mam'

All three are P7 pupils at Keith Primary.

Charles Murray inter-generational poetry/ prose competition

1st Gillian and Barron Stevenson: 'The Heilan Coo'

2nd= Lesley and Luisa Watt: 'Best Freends – Maw and Me'

2nd= Gillian and Dexter Stevenson: 'Oor Dug Ozzy'

All three pupils Barron, Dexter and Luisa attend Newmill Primary School. Barron and Luisa are P7 and Dexter is P3

Aultgowrie poetry competition (for secondary pupils and adults)

1st Caroline Fowler from Buckie: 'For… Her Majesty The Queen'.

2nd Caroline Fowler: 'In Remembrance o’ James'

3rd Adeline Reid from Keith: 'A Gaan Aboot Wifie'

Highly commended

Jim Brown: 'The Lan Spiks'

May Bruce: 'Dinna Let Wir Doric Dee'

Helen Clark: 'Quizzes'

Marian Corbett: 'A Canna Stan Thon Advert'

Mildred Coutts: 'Medicinal Compound' and 'A Bit Of Nonsense'

Charlie Douglas: 'Wheels O’ Fairmin’

Agnes McRae: 'Echoes O’ The Past' and 'The Snowdrop'

Harold M Murray: 'Climate Change' and 'Think Hard'

Charlie Simpson: 'The Sun Aye Shone Fin I Wiz a Bairn'

Brian Thomson: 'Tatties' and 'Fits Wrang Wi The Warld'

Sandra Wood: 'Dear Lizzie'

Caroline Fowler from Buckie won the Aultgowrie trophy.
Caroline Fowler from Buckie won the Aultgowrie trophy.

'FOR…..HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN' by Caroline Fowler

Oor Doric Flag is fleein for…..Her Majesty the Queen

The langest servin Monarch, iss Nation’s ivver seen.

Wisna auld jist twinty five, yon Royal croon gied on her heid

Celebratin sivven decades, naith the ‘Blue, Fite n Reid’.


Ah’d been asked tae dee a favour for…..Her Majesty the Queen

As she fyles gets in a snorl, wi fit some Doric wirds div mean!

I screived an eesefae listie, tae lat her ken jist ‘fit wis fit’

A gweed curn o’ auld farrant words, for oor Scottish-loving Brit.

‘Ingins, tatties, n’ yalla fish’ for…..Her Majesty the Queen

Steer’t wi a drappie milk, syne losh: oor local haute cuisine.

Neist, freenly greetin’s, ‘aye, aye, fit like’? Syne speir, ‘foos yer doos’?

We’ve nae sae mony Corgis, rather…gows n’ Hielan coos!


A fancy piece n’ fly cup for…..Her Majesty the Queen

Wir kettlie’s hotterin on the bink, nae seener said than deen.

Skoskies, belly-button safties, a feast afore oor verra ’een

Intimmers full, we danner ower the Bonny Braes o’ Fair Strathlene.


Fine wee couthie shoppies for…..Her Majesty the Queen

A puckle cocksiedoodles note, for faimly and best freen.

Reemish roon, spylt for choice, heid turn’t tapsalteerie!

Nae trock, fie na… gowden treasures: a weel-faured whigmaleerie!


Noo, twa three words o’ wisdom for…..Her Majesty the Queen

Myn heist yer quites abeen yer queets, birlin in yer bauchled sheen!

Balmoral Castle Ghillies Ball, far ye hooched in bygone years

Aichtsome reels fun aa’body, switten ower the blears!


Ninety-six sparklin cunnles for…..Her Majesty the Queen

Fyles mair foonert, mair forfochen than eest tae be yestreen.

I’se warn aa Jock Tamson’s bairns ken her freenly turn o’ phrase

Deen Royal duties mair nor weel, in Peace an war-torn days.


Sae please…

Be upstannin, heist yer gless for…..Her Majesty the Queen

Hoo aft the hale worl ower, she’s used her diplomatic safety-preen!

Weel deserved gran Royal Banquet, nae jist tatties-throu-the-bree

Hairtfelt Felicitations, on iss…yer Platinum Jubilee !!


'MY BREETHER RILEY' by Noah Crocket

My Breether Riley is 15 years all

an gye big compared te me,

he has broon hair an bloo een.

He wants to hay muckle muscles,

speens his time boxing an weight lighting

he’s fairly gweed at fitba and quite a sporty type.

I like to hay a wrestle we him

but he turns me blaick n bloo

he grabs me unner the oxters and turns me upside doon

he might sometimes be a scunner

but he’s still a rare loon.


'THE HEILAN COO' by Gillian and Barron Stevenson (12)

The Heilan Coo, Jock is a great girny beast,

On heaps o’ braw grass he likes tae feast.

He plowters in skitter, richt up tae his belly,

Jock gets in a sotter and is afa smelly.

His horns are lang and pint richt up,

He bides in a park wi a grumpy auld tup.

Een day the tup fair annoys him sare,

An ye see peer Jock’s nostrils start tae flare.

The fairmer thinks, I’ll hae tae shift thone beast,

An’ says tae himsel, “Fa wid annoy him the least?”

He finds him a bonnie heifer coo,

Oh look! Jock is a happy loon noo!

The heifer coo - her name is Jean,

Welcomes Jock, an’ wints tae be his freen.

Jock and Jean fair hit it aff -

An’ 9 month later they hae a wee calf.

Noo Jock is a trickit heilan coo,

Coz as weel as his Jean, he has wee Hamish too.

Three muckle great beasts a ginger and hairy,

Sine Jock niver gets sae moody or lairy.

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